Firstly, we're really sorry to hear you're disappointed. We value each of our members and want you to have the best experience on Christian Connection.
For many members the site has helped them to create new friendships, networks and in several cases long term relationships and marriages. Inevitably for other members there has been disappointment with the site or with other members. It's often the case that some members join with great enthusiasm but get quickly discouraged. It's fair to say that things do come to those who wait.
Some Pointers from Christian Connection Staff and Members
Members who have made friends or met their partners through Christian Connection often tell us the following:
- Write to many different people on the site.
- Don’t sit back and wait for others to mail you. If you want to get mail, you’ll need to send some.
- Make sure your profile is the best it can be and your emails are well written - check out our profile tips and mailbox tips for some ideas.
- Widen your search criteria. Go the distance - that special person may not be on your doorstep!
- Don’t expect it all to happen overnight or during your trial membership. Making and developing friendships takes time.
- Have realistic expectations – don’t assume that the person at the other end of the mail is perfect. Christian Connection members are only human.
- Add a photo – our records show that of the people who’ve met their partner through Christian Connection, the majority had a photo on their profile.
- Go to local events to meet other members in person. If you're looking for an event in your area, take a look at the member run meetups.
- You may not meet the love of your life, but you may meet a lifelong friend.
- Christian Connection strives to create opportunities, but we cannot guarantee results.
We at Christian Connection are not relationship counsellors and can't give specific advice to couples.
If you're based in the UK you can find a professional counsellor through the Association of Christian Counsellors.
Problems with other members
Christian Connection takes the security of the site and its members seriously. If another member is acting inappropriately there are a whole range of steps you can take:
- Block the member from writing to you again. There is a ban function in the mailbox. This will prevent you from receiving any further email from this member. If you have given your home email address you may be able to block the member from that as well.
- Let us know. Write to us and inform us as to what has happened. We may be able to advise you further. We can act in confidence and because we have built up some experience on all this, we can help. And we will keep this confidential.
- Help protect other members. It is very often the case that the member will have behaved in a similar fashion to other members. In which case its important that we know what is happening, and can protect other members of the site. We can and will terminate membership if appropriate. Often these people attempt to rejoin, so be vigilant. But we have tough terms and conditions which we enforce.
- Work with us. As site operators, we spend plenty of time, checking profiles and trying to keep the site safe and pleasant. We put technical features to improve safety. But neither we, nor our technical features can do everything on our own, - helpful information and prompt action from members is a crucial part of the equation.
Disappointment with other Christians
Whether at Church, at work or on a website, there are sadly people who can deceive, who can harass and who simply fail to live up to expectations. The fact that they may be active Christians in a well established Church can feel disappointing or even shocking. But it won't be the first time that Christians have failed to live up to expectations. In every Church or Christian group there are likely to be individuals who are not what they seem or do not live out ‘the Christian Life'.
The vast majority of people who join the site every day cause no problems, however every so often somebody does turn up who needs removing – fast.
Some members blame themselves if a member behaves badly to them. But in the vast majority of cases, people who behave badly to one person repeat the same behavior to others.
In other cases what some people consider perfectly acceptable language and behavior, can cause others deep offense. We have people from a wide range of traditions, life styles and views and even values.
We pride ourselves in creating a safe online community for all our members. But if you have experienced problems we'll do what we can to help. Write to us and let us know.
- Keep safe on the net. Both Personal Safety Online and The Suzy Lamplugh Trust provide information on keeping safe: www.suzylamplugh.org
We hope the information on this page has been helpful. We would be interested your feedback. If, after reading this, there is something you want to let us know, please contact us.